The Floricel's Syndrome

I am hypochondriac and I am proud of it (according to "hypochondria, noun - a morbid mental state - characterized by continuous anxiety, fear and obsessive concern of own health status; somebody's persistent idea, who thinks is suffering from a disease that, in reality, does not exist", the Romanian Language Explanatory Dictionary). It seems to me as a noble disease that requires wit, culture and imagination. Hypochondria imply a certain degree of spiritual elevation, that also includes a sort of metaphysics dose, but it also requires knowledge, by all means. For instance, if Mr. John is seriously coughing, he does not worry, as he thinks, "he's severe condition is just because of too much drunken tabacco". He does not take any x-ray, does not see several physicians, because, by all means, doctors are people and can be wrong, too. Well, no. I am a hypochondriac. If my nails do not grow fast enough, I think of a severe lack of calcium and I address to several experts on the matter. A cough is an enough reason to end any other activity and to pay an instant visit to the respiratory health department. If I have an obstructed nose, I'm instantly going to the ENT, while thinking of a strange disorder that occurred in an unusual way, a unique disease I'm suffering of.  I'm truly glad of being a hypochondriac and I'm trying to maintain this condition through all the efforts that I'm capable of, as it seems to me as a banner, which is entering you in highlife. Lately, I had a toothache and I run to the most equipped dental cabinet from the ground floor of the building I'm living in and talked with the dentist about pyorrhea. I quickly made my dentition genealogical tree and I explained him of my mother's grandfather pyorrhea. The dentist took a fast look in my mouth and told me to take an analgesic as I cached a cold. I was not a disappointment, because hypochondria ask for sacrifices.

Only by chance, hypochondria rhyme with Romania, an extremely suggestive coincidence.

One is robbing an exchange house, shoot some people on this occasion. For weeks, we are having a complete system checking, enter to the social life tomograph of our country, for explaining the link between the standard of living and the crime level, thereupon foreign experts in Crime Medicine are showing us cellular biology aberrations that can conduct to emerging unbalanced individuals! That's terrible! We are suffering of the Wild West Disease!!!!

Floricel is stealing secrets of state, which he sold to a Bulgarian, who give them away to the Ukrainians. Nooo, something like that is sick. Floricel took all he could from the computer that has been given to him from the job and give the information, on money. So, you watch patients as the United States and Russia. There is no doubt, everything is crystal clear. If a specialist tells you that your heartache is just a mear tachycardia (caused by excessive coffee consumption), you, Romania, do not believe him. Trust the media, your mother and your father, go to have your tests done abroad, in Italy. But first, see the United States of America with who we are so DNA alike. Both, "the country of all possibilities".

By Dragoş Moldovan.

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